I avoid eye-contact. Toughest things in the world for me is looking into a girl’s eyes, and finally one day, I dared myself to do exactly that.
Here is how…
This time, it won’t be just catching a glimpse of her and looking away. We will solemnly be in eye-lock. An eye-lock is, knowing in that moment, that you two are looking at each other, deliberately into each other’s eyes — having read that dilating pupil could mean something.
Either She will look, and call me pervert (for-looking-too-hard) or she will look and, at least, our eyes will talk.
But, I swear on my life that I won’t stop looking into her eyes. I must find all answers.
It’s SHOWTIME
I found her, placed myself on our common path, so our eyes have a higher chance of meeting. I made sure my coffee wouldn’t spill or I bump into someone else.
All set. I am looking into her eyes, and her eyes — looking everywhere except me. Its like there is a shield around me which bounces-off or blocks out her field-of-vision. Or, may be, her eyes have opposite magnetic polarity that repels my physical presence. God has mysterious ways of not giving you exactly what you want, and have been preparing for last 34 days. Still on common path. Walking towards her. All hope are fading now, as we are within close range. What is wrong with her or my aura? I am feeling betrayed and cheated.
“Betrayal of Physics” — Why the hell when two moving object move towards each other their velocities add up? Had it been the other way round, my eyes would have had enough time, and higher probability of seeing her.
There is the moment when we are two steps away from each other. One of mine and other of hers, silly thing to tell, but the heart tells what it feels. Not everyday I make myself to do such herculean task, ask Physics to behave herself. Beg probability to give me chance. Not everyday, I get so close to the real girl of my dreams, get so close to her, side-by-side. She walks past me.
All HOPES are DEAD.
It’s OVER, and…
I kept walking. I wished, there was a time-machine in front of me, so, I could walk into it and come back on other side to try again. May be talk to her this time, after all God has given us two eyes and one mouth, if my eyes are not good enough for conversation, then I would have used my vocal cords. May be I would go back to the first time my eyes ever met a girl’s eyes (1998. — school prayer — there were only two late comers that day me and this girl in blue-white school uniform — looking at each other) and talk to her, so, for all the future encounters I would have prepared myself. Why not, just go to future and see will it ever happen or will I never look someone in the eyes and tell her, ‘I love you.’
But there is no door. Time-machine is my imagination and imagination is my time-machine.
Chapter One
Dejected. I took sip of coffee and turned to my usual place. I noticed a different set of eyes looking at me, as if she was waiting for me. I could not stop myself but look at her. Her eyes seemed prepared.
Even though, we had never spoke or met before; I felt I knew her. In our silence, our eyes spoke,
“Hi,”
“…Hello,”
I could already imagine us sitting at coffee shop, waiting for the our coffees. I always wanted to meet a girl whose smile made me smile. I was smiling after seeing her. It’s like an involuntary response that you can’t predict, start or stop, just happens — like magic.
Her eyes didn’t look for things missing in me, it made me feel complete. Simultaneously, I never felt so exposed and vulnerable — It’s like talking to her about my deepest feelings, and exposing myself to her. It’s like she dove into my body and, saw, who I am and, who I was and, what we can be together — scary. It is even more scary and exhilarating, when eye-lock holds you so tight in present moment.
I think, the eyes are the aliens in our human world, they are like these UFOs that can fly you anywhere.
So, I dared again, and I walked up to her, and before I could say anything, she said…